Sint-Valentijn anno 2019: Een antwoord op de klassieke vragen

Ontvang jij dezer dagen ook wel berichten zoals “een romantisch avondje met bubbels” of “verras je geliefde met een valentijnsmenu”? Je zal maar single zijn op Sint-Valentijn en hoeft daar niet voortdurend aan herinnerd te worden. Want mensen zeggen soms de meest vreemde dingen op 14 februari. Ik ga daarom even dieper in op een aantal klassiekers.

Je zal toch niet alleen zijn op Valentijnsdag?

Ik ben zeer sociaal en ik werk die dag, dus nee, ik zal niet alleen zijn.

In België bestaat één op drie huishoudens uit één persoon. In grote steden zoals Brussel is dat zelfs al één op twee. Velen onder ons zullen trouwens op een bepaald moment in het leven eens alleen wonen. De verstokte singles en hardnekkige alleenwoners zijn immers eerder zeldzaam. Het gaat vooral over een groep mensen die door veranderende situaties alleen komt te staan, denk maar aan het overlijden van een partner, een relatiebreuk, een scheiding, enzovoort. Op alleen wonen staat dus geen leeftijd. Hoe divers de groep alleenwoners ook is, ze wordt geconfronteerd met een aantal specifieke problemen en hardnekkige vooroordelen. Het merendeel van hen is niet egoïstisch, ongelukkig of eenzaam.

Wees tevreden dat je alleen bent. Sint-Valentijn is een hele dure grap.

Natuurlijk, daar kan ik best inkomen. Maar bedenk dan ook hoeveel duurder het is om helemaal alleen op te draaien voor alle woon- en andere dagelijkse kosten. Daarenboven draagt een alleenstaande zonder kinderen gemiddeld 56,3 % van zijn brutoloon af, kan hij niet makkelijk een hypothecaire lening afsluiten of een woning kopen, kan hij zich geen loopbaanonderbreking permitteren, heeft hij minder koopkracht, enzovoort. En erft een goede vriend of petekind van hem of haar, dan geldt de maximale erfbelasting.

Wat is het toch fijn om single te zijn.

Maar waarom ben jij het dan niet? Het is geweldig. Je doet wat je wil, wanneer je wil en met wie je wil. Je kan naar hartenlust knoflook eten en hoeft je benen niet te ontharen of ruzie te maken om de afstandsbediening. Je wordt niet wakker van je partners gesnurk.

Voor velen in onze maatschappij betekent geen relatie hebben een mislukking. Succes wordt hieraan nog te vaak afgemeten en dat is jammer. Zoals ik ook al zei, is single zijn vaak geen bewuste keuze maar eerder het gevolg van een verandering in je leven.

Het grootste voordeel is wel dat je jezelf erg goed leert kennen. Je hebt de tijd om na te denken over wie je bent, wat je wil, wat jouw verlangens en drijfveren zijn.

Misschien ontvang je toch wel iets …

Valentijnsdag ging oorspronkelijk om een anonieme liefdesbekentenis. Het was  niet gebruikelijk om openlijk je liefde te uiten, maar op 14 februari kon iedereen zijn geliefde verrassen met een gedicht of geschenk. Dus wie weet, misschien ontvang ik inderdaad iets! J

Feit is dat de alleenstaande een realiteit is in het België van de 21ste eeuw. En alle studies tonen aan dat deze groep de komende decennia wereldwijd nog fors zal toenemen. Ondertussen beseffen gelukkig meer en meer mensen dat het iedereen kan overkomen om een bepaalde periode in zijn leven alleen te zijn. En gelukkig groeit het bewustzijn dat er daarmee helemaal niks mis is!

Ik wens dan ook iedereen een hele fijne Valentijnsdag toe, alleen of met zijn tweeën!

Carla Dejonghe

Voorzitster all1 vzw

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